Divorce at any stage of life can be challenging, but when it happens later in life—what many call “gray divorce”—the stakes can feel even higher. Financial security is likely one of your biggest concerns if you’ve been a stay-at-home parent for most of your marriage. After years of depending on your spouse’s income, the thought of separating and standing on your own can be overwhelming. However, with careful planning and the right legal guidance, you can protect your financial future and transition smoothly into this next phase of life.
“I’ve worked with many clients facing this exact situation, and I know firsthand that taking those first steps can feel daunting. But I often remind my clients, It’s not about where you’re starting—it’s about where you’re headed. With the right approach, you can find stability and confidence on the other side of divorce.” —Russell J. Manning, Esquire
Key Takeaways
Understand Alimony and Support Options
One of the most significant financial factors in a gray divorce, especially for stay-at-home spouses, is alimony. If you’ve been out of the workforce for a long time, alimony (or spousal support) can provide the financial cushion you need to transition into independence. Courts often award alimony to stay-at-home spouses based on several factors, including the length of the marriage, your age, your health, and the lifestyle you enjoyed during the marriage.
In a recent case handled by family law attorney Russell J. Manning, Esquire, our client—a stay-at-home mom in her late 50s—had not worked outside the home for decades.Understandably, she was terrified about how she would support herself after the divorce. We worked together to ensure that she received enough spousal support to maintain her standard of living. By the end of the process, she felt financially secure and also had the confidence to move forward with her life—so much so that by the time the divorce was finalized, her uncertainty was replaced with hopes and plans for her future.
Know the Value of Retirement Accounts
For stay-at-home parents, retirement accounts often represent a significant part of marital assets. During the marriage, your spouse may have been contributing to a 401(k), pension, or other retirement accounts, and you are likely entitled to a portion of those assets in the divorce. Even if the accounts are solely in your spouse’s name or your spouse insists they are theirs, talk to a lawyer to evaluate these accounts. In most cases during a divorce in PA, these accounts are considered marital property to be divided.
The Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) is a legal tool used to divide retirement accounts without penalties. Don’t overlook this step—retirement funds can be one of the most substantial assets you walk away with, and they play a key role in your long-term financial security.
Consider the Marital Home
Deciding what to do with the marital home is a significant consideration, as it is another asset that must be addressed. During the marriage, you and your spouse may have purchased a home. Our legal team can help you evaluate whether this real estate qualifies as marital property. Even if your name isn’t on the deed, the home may still be considered marital property if purchased during your marriage.
Additional Considerations for Gray Divorce
When divorcing later in life, there are additional considerations beyond just the financial. If you’re approaching or already retired, decisions about Social Security benefits also come into play. For example, if you were married for more than 10 years, you might be entitled to claim Social Security based on your ex-spouse’s earnings, which could significantly impact your retirement income.
Additionally, estate planning should be revisited. After the divorce, you’ll need to update your will, beneficiary designations, and any trusts or powers of attorney. The last thing you want is for your ex-spouse to inadvertently remain a beneficiary on life insurance or retirement accounts after the divorce is final.
Moving Forward with Confidence
Gray divorce may feel like a massive life shift, but it’s also an opportunity to reassess your future and take control of your financial independence. If you’ve been a stay-at-home spouse, it’s natural to have concerns about how you’ll manage, but with the right legal guidance, you can create a stable foundation for your next chapter.
At our firm, we believe that every situation presents a fresh start. While it may not feel that way initially, with the right planning, clients can emerge stronger and more secure than they realize. We encourage you to take the time to carefully evaluate your options, collaborate closely with your attorney, and embark on a path toward financial stability and personal fulfillment.